i believe i've come a looong way since high skewl. its been nearly a year. and most of my high school friends have said tht i've changed so much. so yea. i believe that too.

i've broken up with my first serious relationship right after NS. NS itself was sumthing tht made me grow up real fast. i worked in Starbucks and started college. and all the while, i worked for my parent's company. driving also taught me to be more responsible... then i fell in love again. it made me learn sumthing new everyday.

i spoke to a friend just this afternoon... he asked why i was silently loving the guy i fell for in college? i simply replied : i dunno. then he said sumthing like : scared tat u and him won't be as close as before after u tell him tat u like him..or scared that he'll keep his distance? it got me thinking for a while and i agreed to both and added : afraid of him taking it for granted.

first cut is the deepest. now i know. i shudnt have ventured into a relationship so soon. yet i cant help but want to try it out again. will this guy be different? or is he going to be just like the rest? maybe i am the coward for not wanting to tell the guy... maybe i still think its not the gurly thing to do. yet i do believe kai might scoff and think otherwise! haha!

i was hoping sumone wud gimme another kinda answer or solution to my question : wad do i do? it still mine and my move alone to determine things.... the guy seems to know so well tht i'm into him. yet he doesnt want to do anything... continues being the same fella as before. i think i'll walk away really soon. please, please end this madness.... soon.