sixsubjectsinshortsemester

i dunno wad to think of it right now. losing two good friends,Wing and Prinz who decided to drop outta college, made me feel really sad and yeah, cried abit... wad if it were two best friends? i lost one for sure already, thanks to her dishonesty... well, one more is on the pending list. haha. i'm not really sure why but i guess i prefer to have a little bit of hope.

i dun think being best friends for more than five years would end just like that, would it?

honestly... i don't know. and right now... life isn't going the way i wanted AT ALL. not a bit. i have six subjects this semester. and its a SHORT semester...

thinking of me myself and i

i tried. not once... not twice.... but alot of times! COUNTLESS TIMES. i reli take the innitiatuve and willingly spend my money to call, or try to chat thru MSN but if he doesnt want to receive the call or even make an effort to contact me, FINE!

i deserve at least an explaination or a offline message. but no....instead i get rejected calls, a few brush-offs and many unanswered MSN messengers. all i wanted was a brief update or how're things or better yet,a short simple convo... i dun mean to be rude or seem inconsiderate, but seriously, considering...i've been doing this for the last two weeks?!... i dun think i am selfish or whatsoever. what am i supposed to feel when this is your best friend? happy, not bothered or abit irritated? i think i already have more than enuff reasons to be angry.

i've been working my ass off, attending classes, leading clubs, studying into the wee hours of morn, and handling two major projects for my dad since the day i got back from KL, and in the midst of all the chaotic rushing of work and college, i still constantly think of him, go online to drop a MSN message, or try to call.

not belittling the things he goes thru, for i will never do that... i just feel i've done what i shud...its frustrating for me when i try to do sumthing close to my heart and it doesnt work out...and believe me, i've never complained abt my frenship with him till now.... and..... come to think about it... honestly... from now on... like alot of people say, i gotta start thinking of ME... being hurt is easy, i just dont want to go on hurting. i'm going to believe that maybe i'm wrong, and yea. i will no longer contact those who do not contact me or unless without advance notice/permission.