rectangular plastic n blood pumping organ

so much to do, so little time.
gonna split the burden with the other course rep.
its suppose to be my turn ,but i reli cant cope.

i hope i'm allowed to fire the secretary.

i'm not talking about the one in my parent's company.

its the one in the college club that i'm leading in.

this isn't the right time to fall in love.
its a killer...semester two, i mean.
no additional stress wanted.

i need to go shopping...

to shop alone is bliss...

but i am hardly EVER given that priviledge.

oh! i finally got my credit card! woot~!
but oddly, i feel oh-so-stingy with spending than before!
surprise surprise! i've not spent more than rm200 on it yet... wow...

turned back!

the glass is... upside down? ...empty? right? ...

i think i've sorted alot of things out already.

it's crazy that i had never really sorted it properly till now.

now that its done, i feel alot better.

it's time to appreciate the more important and serious things in life.

like...serious education, healthy living, planned future and darn good friends.

time to sink into the plans of me being the future of my dad's company.

what's next? getting a boy-toy while waiting fer the right one as husband.

WHO AM I KIDDING!? gosh... do u seriously think i would reli do that?! hmm... i might do it. but its near impossible for me to stick wit it. HAHAH~ dun worry. i'm on track! not gonna go wild anytime soon! hahah!

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known

you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

sighz~

"i'm a house of cards in a hurricane." - Backstreet Boys

oddly, i'm not falling fast and hard for this guy like i thot i wud. its reli gradual and i'm learning new things about him everyday. its alredy hard enuff to talk to him. never is serious!

hmm... english class was reli amusing today. we drew lots to determine who we were up against and when we were to debate. i was the one representing my group to draw lots and... unfortunately, got the one team that i DONOT want to go against! firstly its because, all three of them are good friends. which i have no ability to go all cold and haughty to my opponents. haha! and Prinz being the cheeky one claimed it will be an easy win. gah~

laughing non-stop and retorting wit our lecturer, class was reli enjoyable. from laughing at " no pork! no pork!" comments to recalling experience that a gurlfren had to wash her BF's fren's laundry and keeping a baboon for a pet~ horribly good laugh.

driving the Mercedez Benz to skewl is undoubtly cool but trust me! i keep worrying if i'd scratch it or i'd forget to lock the doors. haha!

not hard enuff

i had major fun taking care of the English Language Society's booth on parent-lecturer's day with most of my ELS members. had it decorated with posters,pictures and paperstars! but! the hilarious part was, there was more of interaction between students rather than with the parents. obviously, the main point was missed! who cares? not we! we played scrabble and undertook dares... it was fun... reli. two hours non-stop.

bummmer~the guy is SERIOUSLY playing hard-to-get or is PATHETICALLY stoopid. i'd rather label him the first one, but am beginning to think he is reli lacking the IQ. if i'm still wrong in that... he's a pretty good actor.

i'm getting sick of being course rep. the post is definitely up-for-grabs. i have no time for it. no mood too. imagine, i hv problems managing MY OWN time and notes, and u want me to do it for others!? thats like asking a rat to share a small cheese with its clan. wont work well...*squeecks!*

many of my frens were rather sweet. offered to carry my stuff and asking if i was orite. the cheeky few wud say : " omg...lorry! and ur still here ah? didnt bang hard enuff ah?"

proud again! will i get tired of saying that? hahah~ prob not! but... CONGRATULATIONS BENJAMIN/KAI! scoring ANOTHER near perfect score in ur impromptu speeeech! argh! so jealous bro! but damn proud of u still... hey, i can harbour both emotions at the same time, no? ;P keep it up!

shoulder not in socket

i was sad.
i was confused.
i was effing frustrated.
i was not in the mood to be nagged.
basically, i was being damn emo....

i was ....."BANG!"

spinning 360 nearly twice... i was soon facing the oncoming traffic of the roundabout... i noticed i was looking at faces who were in shock. and when i tried to hold on to the steering wheel, only my left hand did that...odd? yea... i thot so too. my engine died cuz i didnt step on the clutch, rolling towards the other cars, the lorry driver and his workers held unto my car to avoid me crashing the other cars. it was all a blur and i later saw myself calling mom,dad, and Olivia. as i spoke to them, i was short of breath.. taking it all in small gasps as it was too painful to take deep ones. the pain wasnt too bad after my shoulder was pushed back into its socket. yea... its a new experience eh? a dislocated shoulder and a constricted chest.

the second i saw the lorry coming, i just KNEW i cudnt do anything to avoid it. i felt the impact as i flew forward against my seatbelt, felt a push against my right shoulder as my leg hit against my gears.. it was THAT moment, i thought HELLO HEAVEN! but instead, the door closed right in my face! no angelic faces now... i see faces of loved ones instead. though i was slightly dissappointed of escaping death, i was comforted by those around me. it was then, i realise, maybe death isnt the way to end my miserable life. I thank You, God for sparing my life!

as i got through the medics and police, i got home and just lay in bed, thinking. how much i thought of giving up. of leaving everything behind. i was tired of being pressured to be a top student that i no longer was, tired of people telling me how wonderful a fren i am when all i did was stop to listen for a while, how lucky i am to be this guy's daughter when i had no choice of that matter, how carefree i appear to be and wad a wonderful leader i make. i had to put up a strong and cheerful front and face to the public eye all these years. smile, laugh and entertain everyone. becuz of certain circumstances, i've disregarded my health unconsciously and given up on my love life. the guy i fell in love wit in KL, i've forced myself to give up and forget.

now, i've met another guy right here in college. he's single and available but just when i'm so close to coming clean yesterday... results are back then the accident... and i'm forced to get my prospective in life back in order. now the guy no longer is in that list. its sad that now i know i have to cut back ALOT on my social life to pull my CPGA higher or i wont be graduating soon.

hahah! if only the guy knew... i'll leave it to fate. see if he'll make the first move. like i've sed before, i'm tired of being strong n independent all the time.

sudden curiosity?!

Which Hero Are You?

My Result: Niki Sanders

You know you're one tough cookie. But people really adore you for your soft side. Of course you can take care of yourself, but you also make sure to take care of those around you, and, hey, you always look good doing it!

Take this test >

thx Ben...appreciate it loads... for your opinions back in ur blog . i mean... u noe i reli need straight to the point kinda views. if not i'll torture myself/you/other people with those loose-ends. " wad if? does tht mean..? no...yes...maybe" and Ben? i think its great i hv a old fahioned, retro and classic best fren like u la! hahah! it just might be the best lurve advisor to go to~ haha! i might be laughing but reli, i'm serious. gotta admit... yes, i've only known him for about five months in college... but meeting this guy under various situations made me able to view him in so many angles. not just physically,mind u. hahah! but i'll take ur advise : "if you two are really so meant for each other, MFEO, then why rush?"

with Ben being SUDDENLY hit by this serious urge of curiosity= wanting to know how others perceive him! i mean, i was like : " HEY! i've been trying to write a post like that for years! " but sumhow it just cudnt be materialised in just ONE post. i had several consecutive posts just to sum up wad i wanted to say! and he did it in...two hours?!

it still amazes me... how i am perceived by him (Ben, i mean)

• witty, intellectual, fun, independent, influential, sober and deep, yet look good at the same time

i wud usually agree tht inside the cold hard devilish exterior is reli a warm fuzzy granny. haha! does tht sound bad?

its still very odd to hear people telling you that you're..

• so mature, all rounded (huh? character wise or physically? heehee), understanding, and reliable.

mature?! then u dun reli noe me well, crapping is one of my expertise~ laughing is my precious asset....

wad i've accepted thus far are,

• independent,mature,giggly,talkative,crazy,aunt agony...gosh...

but believe it or not... i'm just not satisfied. i'm happy with the answers i've got. but surprisingly, i'm not content. yes... i still dream of world domination. yes... in my dreams i'm Hitler the 2nd(female version) thank u thank u~ all hail Her!

from one of my smses to an old fren last night ----> " i'm getting tired of being strong and independent all the time..." that was me trying to say, maybe i dun hv to face the world alone all the time

i believe i've come a looong way since high skewl. its been nearly a year. and most of my high school friends have said tht i've changed so much. so yea. i believe that too.

i've broken up with my first serious relationship right after NS. NS itself was sumthing tht made me grow up real fast. i worked in Starbucks and started college. and all the while, i worked for my parent's company. driving also taught me to be more responsible... then i fell in love again. it made me learn sumthing new everyday.

i spoke to a friend just this afternoon... he asked why i was silently loving the guy i fell for in college? i simply replied : i dunno. then he said sumthing like : scared tat u and him won't be as close as before after u tell him tat u like him..or scared that he'll keep his distance? it got me thinking for a while and i agreed to both and added : afraid of him taking it for granted.

first cut is the deepest. now i know. i shudnt have ventured into a relationship so soon. yet i cant help but want to try it out again. will this guy be different? or is he going to be just like the rest? maybe i am the coward for not wanting to tell the guy... maybe i still think its not the gurly thing to do. yet i do believe kai might scoff and think otherwise! haha!

i was hoping sumone wud gimme another kinda answer or solution to my question : wad do i do? it still mine and my move alone to determine things.... the guy seems to know so well tht i'm into him. yet he doesnt want to do anything... continues being the same fella as before. i think i'll walk away really soon. please, please end this madness.... soon.

here's to you!

shouts for JOY! WOoOoT!!!! *party style, please~*

i'm like a proud momma ya'all! hahah! my son has...*coughcoughvomits* oopzie~actually...my best buddy Benjamin/Kai scored near PERFECT scores for his college presentation! SO PROUD OF YOU LA! i've seen and am still convinced of your ability and passion since form 2! i think this is when i can say, I TOLD YOU SO! i told you that u were a gazzilllllion times better than i am! hahaha!

A TOAST TO MARTIN LUTHER KING THE 2ND! *drumrolls plz!* BENJAMIN kAI ~! tis an honour, my fren! Congrats! keep it up yo~!

"they also agree with me that a person that isn't exposed to stress occasionally or on an often basis, might find themselves unable to cope with stress and end up breaking down easily. and apparently, Charlotte Fong Jia Lerk is a Type A person. hehe." -- quoted from kai http://www.my-quietdrive.blogspot.com/

• Type A
  Strongly motivated and driven am i? didn noe...
  like to compete brint it on!
  enjoys power and recognition heheh~ maybe...
  easily angered/motivated to act too true
  efficient and vigorous no lah!
  dislikes wasting time late for class...does tht count?
  easy going people often frustrates them hell yeah! wads wrong wit them!?
  appear self confident but have strong feelings of self doubt. shhh! tis a secret!

its pretty obvious i LURRRVEEE lil tests like these! and i adore the fact tht Ben is studying psychology now! hehehe! i can get all these lil snippets of information without having to study! and at the same time, i get to learn a lil more about myself. calling me a Hitler-wannabe isnt right ler, Ben! its just a dream...which i intend to realize before i'm 40 though... *evil snigger*

new semester~ GO!

new semester just started... and gosh... i shoulder the full weight of the responsibilities of being the course representative! and being the president of English Language Society! ahhhh! i have the two advisors to the club in silent war at each other as well! ohmigosh! i feel like slapping them both and scream GROW UP LA! i have to get the notes, photostat them, and distribute them. figure out when to hold both formal and informal meetings! gah! the list goes on!

and the start of the new semester makes it harder to look at the guy i fell in love with la... hmm... wad do i do? we're still great friends... we can talk and laugh and hang out for hours but i'm really scared if he or sumone else figures it out. it'll be reli embarassing la... i know i've said that i'm in love with another guy in KL for years... but oddly, i feel the same kinda feeling for this two guys in college as well. one is like my best friend while the other is like a kid brother. now, i have three other guys currently waiting on me... sounds crazy but there are people who scream at me to take either one of the three cuz they're offering everything they have. i guess they're right but think abt it, i'll just feel guilty about wastinf their heart n cash sooner or later. i dun think it would be a total waste if it were the three guys i fell for rather than the three that are interested in me. are u lost? yeah... me too~ i'm trying to sort it out as well~ i'll take my time. heheh!

Labuan - not wat i thot

you can choose to read this LOOOONG blog post to know more abt my Labuan(duty free) hols if you're blessed with 25 hours in a day OR i suggest u click the following link to enjoy a pictorial journey instead ;) enjoy!

• http://www.flickr.com/photos/charlerk/sets/72157602277250806/
  

DAY ONE----> i could have died of seasickness..(face turned green). "i'm never going to survive the second trip back on the ship! *SCREAMS*" finally reaching the Labuan International Ferry Terminal... i felt like kissing the cement floor i stood upon! hahaha!

there was this reli kewl christian lady whom we call ching yunjie (as in elder sister ching yun)! she let us stay in her house fer three days and two nights! she has this reli fun and quirky character that i reli wanna get to know her more! but iwas abit shy... hehe! so i let Olivia do all the talking.

i had a wonderful time shopping with Olivia and walking around the lil town! amazingly they have pretty big buildings! hahah! no looking down on 'em no more! met Ronald, Fusion , Jacky and their pastor for dinner! then had an amazing karaoke session wit just Claudia and her sis! hahah! so far so fun! hope it'll be better the next two days here!

day two---->woke up and started the morning walking from one end of the lil town to the other! ouch! i got a BLISTER! argh! bought loads of stuff! aiks... then had lunch with the guys along with Terenz, Sharon and CLaudia. typical KFC moment then we went off to visit Olivia's primary skewl! i didnt join her but went off sightseeing with Terenz n Sharon by car. oO~ pretty place to live la~! visited the Water Sports Centre with loadsa fish! then we had a mini car-race to the bird park. had SO MUCH fun playing with all the birds~ hmm.. i had a sporting n prefessional cameraman too! credits to FUSION!

then the guys went off to play basketball, us gurls went to the beach! woOt! gurls noe how to have serious fun! bought chicken wings and bubu-chacha, ate, bathed and chatted wit Olivia till nine. then i fell asleep till ten when i was woken up to go out 'yam cha' with them again. haha! abit embarrassing that i forgot to get Ronald a card for his birthday, so i wrote a note instead and shared a Tshirt with Olivia. at least he looked surprised and reli appreciative. Happy 19th Bday!

Day 3--->woke up abit late...had to quickly wash up and pack my bag then off to breakfast with another collegemate Esther. she's sumone i meet in school without reli knowing her. but now, with Olivia's extensive connections, i discovered she's a real sweetie. hahah! she brought us to her uncle's shop to buy CHOCOLATES AND BOOZE! DUTY FREEEE + DISCOUNT! swoons in delight! i bought so much chocolates and two bottles of 40% Absolut vodka! i'm going to party hard! muahahah! got on the blasted ferry and forced myself to sleep to avoid seasickness...oddly, i didnt experience the overwhelming sensation anymore! WOOOW! hahah! it wud have been a great trip if it werent for the other passengers who kept whistling, kids kept running about and men who kept laughing. IRRITATING! garrr...