i guess apart from growing up with Buddhist parents, i also grew up with major influence from Christian relatives. not only that, i have atheist friends. and because of that, i owe open-minded character to that. i believe in YinYang, karma and Murphy's Law. when there is a loser, there will be a winner. what you give is what you get. what you want isn't necessarily what u get.
talking to two of my friends just now made me think
- am i wasting my time?
investing my feelings on the wrong guy?
sadly, i think so. i feel sorry and guilty for the guys i rejected. i thought it would be better if i didn't lead them on an empty chase. i'm glad i did... cuz i'm still stuck on the same guy.
i'm the one bitterly regretting. why can't i be like the others? just accept the others while waiting for this guy? wouldn't that save me the heartache i'm going through now? yea ... it would.
honestly, i'm tired of this. i wish i had the bravery of Olivia. she dared to ask the guy for his answer on a relationship. she took the risk... of blowing off the friendship for sumthing better. dare i? i daren't... maybe i'm not used to that part. i'm the one who gets asked... does he know? i dont know...
