turning over an old leaf

i've truly gotten over him.
the guy that i've always been in love with
then again, ppl say :
if u really love him, u cudnt get over it!

that might be true
but what if u know tht u'll NVR be happy
knowing he doesnt feel the same?
but what if u know tht u have NVR mattered
to him as much as him to u?

MUST
is when you're not given a choice.
get over him or forever feel inadequate

i gave up on him
but when others came along,
i was pretty straightforward with them,
they accepted my terms n conditions.
their problem.

now that i'm truly over him,
does that mean i'm ready to go back
and face him, my past and more problems?
KL is sumwhere i'm not keen on.

just maybe. still thinking. will decide.
soon to be updated on tht matter

martina mcbride sed it...

i'll be what i know i shouldn't...
i'll do what i know i cannot...

rebelling? yeah... thts wad i know

that was wad i tried to leave behind and change
now i know what had inspired me to turn over a nu leaf
but, i realise that inspiration is gone
like they say : old habits die hard.

i remember the bittersweet memories... carefree and wild...
that was me back then.
now? chained to resposibilities and drowned with boredom.

i find it so easy to revert to old ways.
to just be who i am. cold and cruel when i want to...
manipulative, indulgent and selfish...

i learn from my mistakes,
no longer will i put all my whole heart into one single person
no longer will i trust all my hopes into one single event

relationships or love is sumthing
no longer exclusive
i'd love to take lessons from hippies... *giggles*
spread the love and all~

i wish i wasnt like this
yet i'm still thankful for it
no longer idealistic and gullible

Ladies n Gents! actually....
i'll back on my feet! with a naughty smile
and hidden agenda thats not too scary
oh! and it'll of course be a surprise....

when? i cant be sure
how? keeping meself swamped with TOO MUCH work
reward upon accomplishment? hmm.. i'll think abt it

wishlist? i'll still be me

why do i do this?

i hate being the third party in a relationship.
yet i cannot stay out of it.
am i being greedy or stupid?
or both?

he claims he loves me
i confirmed i do not love him
i fell for sumone else whom i cant get over with
he said, i'll wait then
romantic? i think not
stupid? yes i was thinking just tht

so why am i still with him?
simple
i'm sadistic towards the gurl
and i love the attention from the guy
o btw? money and power makes me giddy with glee

its just a phase.
i'm just using him to forget the other guy
the other guy = the guy i fell in love with
much regrettedly so

i hate you because you made me feel like a failure