right now...

It’s really hard to explain it but yes, I’m still gonna try telling ya’ll why I’m so darned happy!!!

dun u just love this pic? >;)

Ever since I moved back here(kk), I didn’t attend church. No doubt that I still read the bible and sing His praises nearly everyday but still felt it wasn’t enough. I felt so bad and guilty. I disregarded that feeling for a WHOLE year for the sake of SPM and I guess I’ve paid the price of putting education first rather than to God-first.

Finally, I attended the mandarin service with my good college friend, Christy and I felt a lot better. I apologized and thanked God over and over again. I felt free and renewed. And the pastor spoke about living the word and I noticed how much I missed these spiritual nourishment. Haha! I was lost about half the time due to the fact that I hardly am familiar with such high class mandarin! Still! I was able to read most of the notes and caught bits and pieces! OHMIGOSH! I was pretty proud of myself on being able to read and understand Chinese after years of being a called a banana or an ABC! Hahah! I saw another familiar face in that church too – Zavier. ;) impressive drummer! Very interesting character. So yeah… am still very happy about going to church. Hopefully I’ll be able to just keep going. Haha!

I’m losing out on juggling college, work and family life altogether. I have this urge to just scream and say “ I quit! Not gonna work for you anymore!” but responsibility has gotten me all tied up so I just continue working for my parent’s company. And as for Saturdays, its pure joy tutoring those lil monsters in English classes. College work is piling up a bit too fast for my snail rate….hehe! and as for family life? well, there’s not much left of it. Mandy has gone to KL to study Physiotherapy. Eldest sister is also in KL studying psychology. So there is only mom, lil sis and me left at home. Where as dad comes down in the weekends. Haihs…

Still am crushing on that guy. I told Christy : “ I think I’ve got a crush on that guy la” and she gave me a look and muttered : “crush? Whats that?” I cant help but laugh : “its more than like, less than love.” “ Ooo… admire/ an lien laa!” “yeah~ *grins*” so far, only the three of us gurlies know about who he really is… two has made me bets! Hahaha! how hilarious… sushi and being slave-driver is on the line! I’m hoping I win though… I might lose on the sushi but heck… I gain the fello~ but then…petrol is getting a bit too pricey! Choices choices! I got a new bag and shades! A blue Roxy bag and a Vincci black shades! Wheee~ I’ll be skipping on two tests on both Saturdays because I’ve got my tutoring class! Heheh! So I get to take it earlier or later… I hate skipping work… gar.. .gottago… am worried about Benniemaroo…but aren’t I always? Muax ya’ll!

i'm into it...oopz- HIM!

i hate people who use the word - ' i love you' extensively. believe me. its like the person is trying to reassure himself rather than to proclaim their undying love to their partners. they say it to their partner, to their best friends, to their pets, to their sibling , on the net and even on their books! PDA is orite wit me but plz dun go overboard and make us NORMAL people cringe everytime we hear u say it to ur partner,see u kiss explicitly in public,groping or write it on walls and doors! the words are getting cheap.

and why o why? did i think that getting posts in college is just like in high school where most of the work is simple and in the end, we get high grades nearly effortlessly! here i am struggling with three posts - president, vice secretary and assistant course representative on the very first term of college! ARGH! what is this? i have to apply to use a classroom a week before?! agreement/recommendation from advisors first!? and i have to distribute the credit hours to members?! i cant hog it all to myself!? wad if i reli want to work my butt off? wad happens then? all for nothing? crazy la....

i'm in the same class as him...so EVERYDAY i see him...talk to him.....same group with him in one of the projects... yet... OMG! this is nearly the same way i meet the KL guy long ago! but i gotta admit... that love for him is slowly diminishing. i know it sounds crazy but it has been six years... so i think it has got to go one day or another right? maybe this guy right here in my college is sumone better? he has everything and a lil bit more than the previous one. great Christian, attractive personality, studious and i love it when he is sleepy! so blur and the look is sooo cute la! OKOK! enuff details! haha

i know studies is very important! *rolls eyes with a grin* but can u blame this heart? who yearns for so much more than what its getting now... there is so many things about the guy that just never cease to mesmerize me... his passion for Christ, his caring sensitive ways, knows how to have fun, great help in studies, gee wheez... he's got sexy hair n shoulders! hahha! orite~! thats all the details for now. ;)

lotsa misses!

in dependence is fun. though i gotta admit i havent got the whole package from my parents but at least i'm getting there. now the last step in achieving the highest possible level of independence right here in KK is to live outside the my parent's home. the best bit? i have the perfect place to live as well as a decent reason. my dad has got a semi-D which he gave me to manage as a project! nyahaha! now i've got the idea to rent it out to college students who have financial problems. do i sound evil or sympathetic? actually i'm trying to be both yet its just me trying to help others out. i'm renting it out at dirt cheap price with rooms completed with airconditioning, beds, built in cupboards, streamyx, astro and transportation. plus its situated in the middle of two China towns! all this for?

get ready for the pricing! TA DAA! RM250! thats it. nuthin else! hehehe! i'm crazy. but at l;east i'm happy right? muahahah! now all i have to do is watch the progression of the minor renovations and think of the best possible way to break it to my father. mom is cool with me living outta the house. no surprise there. we both understand why it might be for the best. or the world would just have to keep putting up with sudden scream and screeches in the middle of the night. havent been online for sooo long.

its like being on drugs after five years on hold! NO i dun do drugs! never will. hmm... it was just me describing the estactically high feeling i am feeling now. crazy isnt it?

miss my online buddies as well as my kl frens. i'll be back soon! wheee thats all i reli am looking forward now. i bought two sets of tickets back to KL. its like a back up plan! hahaha! so if i miss the one ine...well, i shudnt say when i'm going back. heheh! i might jsut go PEEKABOOO in front of ya!

i got three invites to a date thus far this week. am feeling good. watched transformers. it rocked my toe-varnish off! so obviously my socks have been rocked off too. hahahah! miss crapping sesssion! eh! i had one last night with maggot but... aww... cheer up kay? glad i was able to help even if it was a teenie weenie bit. dun lie to me if i didnt cheer u up kay? just say it next time. all the best to ya'all. college life has got alot of me getting used to. taaaa!

unwritten rules of dating

out of action fer a while. blame it all on education. i am but its slave.

if i could scream like a cartoon, i would probably scream out loud...." ohmygosh! say what!? really! o thank you! i love you all!" then i might pause for a while and go.. " wait! i don't want that! NO! i dont want it! i dont wanna work! noooo" <----translation - i got voted as vice secretary of Christian Fellowship and president of the English Language Society. i like the idea of being able to speedily gain extra curicular credit hours but to be holding my neck out for the chopping knife isnt in my list of i-wanna-do's.

two minor crushes in college. not gonna reveal their names...D'OH! the one that i might prefer talking to is a lil.. short for a guy. still he's taller than me lar! he's got the funniest jokes and has the good boy looks but is the total opposite~ while the other guy is an eye candy. he's like the LaLa version of Johnny Depp... quirky personality, mysterious eyes and... a hot physique~ *swoons* but like i said, minor crushes~ i still love that one guy from long ago. sigh*

college life is rocking... i am pretty amazed at what i've accomplished thus far. i get to drive at the speed of 0 - 110 kph every morning, listen to lectures, eat my brunch with friends, learnt to play snooker, study in the library, drop by the malls with friends and then head on home after fetching the kid. from skewl. i guess life does brighten up after high school huh? ;) like my grandpa sed, " you're like a bird. a free bird. always out of the nest."

i may not be able to solve all my friend's problems. but i do give my all when asked for help. yet my father favourite words are " trust not a single soul and never be too kind " . i know there is a tag upon those words saying - "terms and conditions apply!" yet when a friend comes to me and tells me their problems, i cant help but feel a must to make them feel better and if able to, help them through the problem. not that i find it troublesome, but rather left wondering why i feel so...obligated to help them? cant i just say no? is there anyone that feels the same as i do, being burdened by so many problems that are not my own! but i cant possibly tell my frens, " HEY! STOP SPILLING AND START BOTTLING UP THOSE PROBLEMS LA!" as much as i want to do that, i know i wont do that. and i do doubt i will EVER do that to any of my best friends. but i reli might consider yelling at those whom i am not AT ALL close to. they have got to be just attention deprived! no one in their right mind would talk about their problems in just less than two days okay! its just WRONG! AHHHHHH!

lotsa assignments... three projects...two posts...one heart= MAJOR BURDENED! but heck, i'm enjoying life. hahah! i know to have fun when the going gets tough~

some guys are just too stupid for they're own good. there is this one guy who calls me SEVERAL TIMES a week, just to talk and try to invite me out. when he fails at that,he proceeds to invite my best gurlfren out. when that fails, he goes after one more gurl which i dun reli noe. and when this one fails to accept his invitation, he goes to cyber cafe and tries to stalk us online. or he drives to our houses or! best bit! he cries on the phone.

PSYCHOMANIAC! he shud be arrested! left in a mental institution to get help! hahaha! and the most gross bit is! he acts all gentlemanly but there was one date which he broke one of the few unwritten dating rules! DONT TOUCH ME, DAMNIT!

i cant blieve Albruzzi(Prison Break) died! ahh!

dun u hate the EMO moods u suddenly get once in a while? well, i've getting this quite often lately. been feeling the i-miss-my-o-frens-and-where-has-d-gud-o-days-gone moodswings. i can just sit here for hours trying to convey and express how i feel but it doesnt and never will the same as talking face to face with a good/best fren.

not that i dun have friends, its more like . i have not met the right ones here. those that u can just sit there and talk about everything and nothing at all. i have yet to meet anyone else with the same frequency as i. and the most forehead-slapping things is, i have found NOT ONE, BUT TWO! people with the EXACT same frequencies as me! those two being Ben and Georgine, but they're in KL. across the friggin sea. two and a half hours flight away. a very expensive call away. and we're all being buried under the very hectic college lifestyles. sighs...
i noticed ever since i ranted of HIM(previous post) - i'm totally over him. hehe! made me realise how loser-ific he is. and kai? thanks fer not saying 'i told u so' ... was expecting that though~ *sticks out tongue* nyehehehe! i still cant believe u figured that out so fast... i didnt even REALISE that! gosh... dun bother self praising, man. that only applies fer me! since i'm letting you off the hook of the 'two week' promise thingymajig~

college life is rather boring... i mean, there's lots to do. finally some mental stimulation! but its still boring... gah! cant put it to words! haha! i miss friends... be it from the office, Starbucks,high skewl or college... i miss having fun like last time...

freshie nite

used to blog AT LEAST three times a week. now its like, down to just once a week. believe it or not... it feels good. being able to just sit in cafes chatting with friends, hanging out in the malls, practicing the group performance and just revising my lecture notes. a nice change, really. odd isnt it?

haha oh! FRESHIE NIGHT! hehe! FINALLY! i get to party once again in SABAH! woOot! sure enough~ i was badly dissappointed. i took a super speedin-bullet of a taxi just to get me to my home and to college which didnt come cheaply, only to find... a rather pathetically or tastelessly decorated hall. what was worse was... no dance floor. *hands a knife to a stranger* "just do us all a favour - get rid of this whiny complaining woman before you~"

i rolled my eyes "think positive , Char... dun let it ruin ur day!" my mood wasnt exactly top notch, but heck... i love to laugh and play so it was easy...blended in but was still thinking of dancing since it is my biggest 'Y-E-S' when it comes to having fun. but still managed to enjoy the rest of the night simply for the company of friends nonetheless.

taking loads of pictures in one of the classroom which was also our unisex dressing room for our dance performance. haha! the guys were the one who yelled: "oui gurls! look away eh! " and obviously the gurls retorted : " what have you got that we dont know or never seen before ah?" our dance was satisfying good. not the best but hmm... its all about having fun right? haha! it turned out quite well. thinking back, we actually had only four day to practice and the rest of the days just planning. hahah!

attended S'Bucks Summer party, hmm.. gotta say it isnt very party-like but it was enlightening and was able to meet with my very looong-lost friend! awww... we're all grown up! haha! i do miss the job there. miss making mistakes! haha! seriously! i dun mean the mistakes you make on purpose but those really honest mistakes like adding milk to a non-milk beverage or forgetting to put an extra shot of espresso. heehe! HONEST mistakes. and just having great characters around to work with. even if it isnt always ALL smiles but at the end of the day, you know that u enjoyed/suffered the shift with ur mates and learn a thing or two everyday.

enjoyed the drive back home after having a drink with friends at Damai, (for those who aren't from KK - Damai is like, THE place to mamak) Alex seriously speeeeeds. it was pretty fun actually. haha! and the best part is? his speed-o-meter is dead. ;) his gas-meter is crazy! - sumtimes full,sumtimes empty! haha! and..... he's a full fledged mechanic! he's been in the trade since standard three! thats impressive lar~ the car was going so fast, it felt as though the wheels werent making much contact with the road. i was holding on to the seat but enjoying the passing night scenery. hahah~ he made it to my house from Dogonggon in record-breaking time of -->17 minutes. thats might be the same as from Bangsar to Kajang.

i know it was pretty dangerous but.. eeyerr... it was fun la! and he's the expert with cars and with lotsa driving experience! haha! bleh~

RANT OF THE DAY *i cant believe i actually had a crush on that guy la! Ew~! he's getting too comfy and showing his true colours. and right now, i really dont like wad i see or know of him! why cudnt he just be himself? drop the effing accent! and please grow up la, acting cute is for gurls or for naturals only! and the most important of ALLL, gawd... do i really have to say this? get rid of that offensive body odor! gross~! and its so odd, how can he NOT know that we just dont think his ideas are as fantastic or useful as he suggests it to be? or the fact that we are often irritated that he keeps interfering the flow of conversations and tries to rearrange our dance formations! garrr... and can someone please tell him - the way he dances is just waaaay off for a guy~! or a gurl! *

the PMJ xperience

i passed. THANK YOU GOD~! i prayed the night before and the morning i woke up and then continue all the way to the minute i finished the first obstacle - the hill. and i was gasping, for JOY! hahahaah!

i then went on for the next two obstacles. having the car engine die on me during side parking was probably the most nerve wrecking thing to happen when i was full of jittery nerves. then i made the BIGGEST BOO-BOO by completing the three pointer without a PERSONAL handwave of her highness *sarcasm please*.

assuming that i can trust her little minion by her side, i went on with my final obstacle , i did as i was waved at to do. next thing i knew was, the policewoman aka her highness, was asking me : "siape panggil kamu buat tige penjuru tanpa izin i?" i was gasping again, not in joy but in panic this time.or rather of humiliation as it was infront of a lil over fifty other participants. i said : " i didnt know. i thought i saw him wave at me to go on!" and the lil minion shook his head and said : "i was waving at the guy at the back of u to park closer." i started tearing and said, "ohmygosh, i'm sorry. can i do it again?" and ALL the lady said was... "come back next week tuesday " as she handed me my documents. SHYT.

feeling all dissappointed, i walked uphill towards the office.i glanced down at the forms in my hands and saw... "LULUS".... gosh,i hate that woman.

went to Starbucks after having lotsa pictures washed. Zaidi cudnt believe i passed my driving test! "UNBELIEVABLE!" he said out loud. hahaha! and they ran outta chocolate chips :( cant have my usual favourite Java Chip Frap. o wells, u cant have everything so

settled with an iced chocolate. enjoyed talking with Nizam. such a quirky and cheerful fello. cant help smiling when ur around him. haha! chitchatted with Yvon for quite a long time. Talissa congratulated me and yea, she sucha sweetie as well. *hugs* i cant believe my Adidas bag strap is torn! it looks as though sumone tried cutting it with a knife but failed. i had to use a lighter to patch it up again. hmm.... i could have been robbed?

please lemme pass! pretty plz!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
LET ME PASS MY DRIVING TEST!
PLEEEEAAASSSEEEEEE! its today! i'm skipping three classes of college today,
just for it.. so please pray for me that i pass... pleaseeeeeeeee....

i know i drive illegally without license sometimes
but, it was all for good reasons right?
sending lil sister to skewl, banking and attending meetings...
good reasons...right? i didnt go clubbing or speeding with it...
tho i burned the tyres a few times cuz i hate braking!
i find manual cars troublesome even though it can go
soooo much faster and all, but i dun go very fast all the time!
so ... JUST LEMME PASS LA DAMNIT! I'M SO EFFING
FRUSTRATED! NERVOUS! AHHHHHHHHH! please...

drinks are on me in Starbucks if i pass people!
*this only applies if ur my fren in Sabah ;)